English Major lulz

(from http://www.photoblip.com/pictures/6085/your-english-teacher-vs-the-author.html)

I know, I know, "literature means something different to everybody." But I've never believed that wishy washy crap. I think the author has an exact point to make, and often the English teacher butchers it by projecting her own feelings of gender identity crisis, repressed homosexuality, and deep seated parental issues directly into the text, while the classroom just sort of nods in agreement so they don't look stupid for not agreeing. And then there's the Douche who will elborate on the teacher's ridiculous points while sprinkling literary jargon on his pompous illogical word salad: "Yes, I too thought the blue curtains were a reflection of Cynthia's repressed homosexuality and her inability to connect with her mother in a anally sexual matter. If you view this from a purely Lacanian point of view, the blue curtains are really just a part of the Symbolic Order, and further, if we apply the Deconstructionist view, the curtains are simply a stand in for something Cynthia cannot yet articulate, a barrier between her and facing the inner truths of her repressed desires to be a man."
Silence. We all look to the teacher. She smiles and nods. A few students gush, "Gosh, Stephen is smart."